Ghost in the shell movie review

Ghost in the shell is a disappointment. An absolute disappointment. A DISSAPPOINTMENT.

It’s a visual masterpiece, and has amazing blade runnner esque dystopian visuals. But the acting is really out of place and the character dialogue is absolutely trash. Whoever wrote the script, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. WHAT. WERE. YOU. THINKING. There is a point in the movie where this random garbage collector gets possessed by the villain and then when the villain stops possessing the random garbage person, the government are holding the guy and he just starts crying and saying I didn’t do it in a stereotypical drunk English person accent. Do y’know what would have made this movie better? Silence. SILENECE. Just take out all of the trash dialogue, make the movie black and white and add some classy noir jazz over the top. Just made your movie better.

I should probably just watch the anime. But seriously, none of the action has any impact because almost no one died and when they did, you didn’t care, because they are supporting characters. And just like in an anime, no one cares about the supporting character. But of course, we can’t have death, because oh, we got have that sweet PG13 rating, gotta have that “child friendly” rating. I’d be happy to wait until I’m allowed to watch it if they made it an R. But no. Let’s see, who made the movie? Dreamworks animation. No. I’m sorry. I don’t want Penguins of Madagascar in my edgy, down to earth sci-fi movie. The matrix was awesome. This is just stupid. Where’s the edgy rap metal. Where is it? Where’s the awesome glasses? I know it would be bad if it was just a matrix clone, but seriously, it doesn’t have anything to make it as interesting as a matrix clone.

The only actor who does actually works with the movie and feels like he belongs in the movie is the villain. But even the best character in the movie sounds like a robot version of Tommy Wiseau from The Room, which is meant to be the worst movie ever. High praise, I know.

This movie has even got turned into a medium class meme. Now, for all of you who don’t know what a medium class meme is, it’s one of those memes with IMPACT text on the top and bottom of the image. Low class memes are gifs, and high class memes are things like the deep-fried meme, the meme ‘blank but every time blank happens, blank’ that made the bee movie great again.

I definitely didn’t make that whole thing about different class memes up. Definitely.

Anyway, back to the movie.

If you were thinking of watching this don’t. Watch the anime, because even though I haven’t watched it, it has 96% on rotten tomatoes, as compared to the live action movie’s 44% rating, and it’s widely considered to be a classic.

If I had to sum up the movie in one sentence it would be: Cash grabbing, poorly directed piece of garbage.

Rating: 2/10

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8 thoughts on “Ghost in the shell movie review

  1. Joanna Hammond

    I would hit “like”. but I don’t see a way to do it in my Outlook email or in my browser version – I “like” and will definitely not waste time watching this movie! Thanks for the heads up!

    Liked by 1 person

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