Eminem – Untouchable Track Review

This new song is absolute trash. I’m not even going to talk about the previous single, Walk On Water, because it was so bland. But I decided I needed to let off some steam with a negative review.

The lyrics are boring. The beat is boring. The performance is boring. The production is boring. The entire song is boring.

This song is terrible. It sounds like a tone-deaf child saying gibberish over a trashy monotone beat. This sounds like a B-Side off a £3 collection of terrible political songs by Now That’s What I Call Music, if Now That’s What I call Music was “C C C. C C C. I can play Middle C”. And the name. “Unstouchable”. Wow. WOW. You couldn’t be more formulaic, could you? In fact, here’s the post-Relapse Eminem song name generator. Narcissistic and tastless trash #3879. Ooh, yep. That’s right on point. I’m disappointed. Campaign speech was a good song. It has the same message, but it delivers it 100 times better. If only the rest of the singles could be like this. But no. We have to listen to more unintelligent political hip hop that repeats the same messages we’ve heard a million times.

Look, I agree with the points raised in this song. Police brutality and segregation is a problem in America. But artistic critique DOES NOT EXIST IN A VACUMN. I liken this to Prophets Of Rage where if the people making the music are already respected, people will follow them blindly even if they’re making trash.

Also, can we please take a moment to appreciated the trash that is the album artwork.

That cover pretty much sums up what I think of this.

It’s obviously trying to be some kind of riveting political statement, like on the cover of the classic To Pimp A Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar:

Unfortunately it fails miserably and looks like a 5 year old’s attempt at using MS paint to make political art.

I hate this. Worst song of 2017. Worse than those trash Fall out boy singles, worse than Ed Sheeran, and worse than…Despacito. Ughhhhhh. The fact that I think an Eminem song was actually worse than a Justin Beiber song is incredibly depressing. Especially considering Despacito makes me want to clean my ears with bleach and wipe my memory. So I applaud you Eminem. You have become everything you hated and more. You have become a formulaic, bland, boring, unoriginal, uninteresting industry tool with no artistic aim and all monetary aim.

Rating: 0/10


6 thoughts on “Eminem – Untouchable Track Review

  1. I don’t think it’s that bad, nor the worst song of 2017, though I can understand why you’d feel that way, given his amazing discography and legacy. Still,I agree ‘Untouchable’ is boring, and could have been a better, more compelling song if it had a better melody, beats and arrangement.

    Liked by 1 person

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